[ But I Already Told Her I'll Be Home! ]

I admit I rarely call Umie whenever I'm away from home.
Unless to share good news at work or jumpa Nubhan AF tengah jalan.
I don't know why, but kalau susah sakit takde duit bagai, Ayah lah jadi mangsanya.

Maybe it's because I know Umie has a lot of things to handle at home and the last thing she wants to hear from her eldest daughter crying over some friends yang dah memalukan dia or whatsoever.

Bukan Umie takkan entertain, but she'll be more emotional than me.
Yeah, I get my queen of emo traits from her very well.
I remembered how Umie reacted when I got dumped on my birthday.
Lagi tertonggeng terbalik dari anaknya yang sah sah ah tengah menangis menonggeng.

Since that, I reserved my emotions from Umie.
Takut dia lagi emosi.
Bila dia emosi, dia darah tinggi.
And I don't like that.

But that doesn't mean I'll go crying to Ayah pulak.
No, I don't.
Even if Ayah would understand better than Umie, Ayah would somehow slip it to Umie and there goes the emotional roller coaster once again.
Worse even, she'll non stop saying "Nape tak cakap awal-awal, bila dah jadi camni kan dah susah.."

Tak sanggup weh.

So kalau perlu bercerita what happened to me, I made sure cerita itu ada kesudahannya so that they couldn't ask any questions sebab benda tu dah settle.
Selagi tak settle, tak perlu cerita kat derang.
Itu gunanya kawan-kawan plak.
Cerita la mende-mende yang tak settle sampai muak.
Dah settle pun nak cerita lagi tuh I don't understand lah.

But that made me more distant from the parents, I guess.
Sebab mostly the problems I face, I sucked it all inside me that by the time everything is okay, Along dah takde mood nak cerita balik kat Umie Ayah.

So cerita yang happy-happy je.
Tapi boleh dikira yang happy happy tuh berapa -_-"

And that's make me.. erm, sad?
Guilty?

I wish I could just tell them everything.
Sungguh.




*alamak dah meleleh air mata.*



Mungkin sebab apa yang Umie cakap pagi tadi.


Pagi tadi Umie call.
Along kalut tengok jam, lagi 15 minit ke pukul 7.
Cuak dengan tidak semena-mena.
Anything wrong di rumah ke?
Kenapa Jennyto tak call?
Kenapa Umie yang call?

Along kalut fikir hari ini hari apa.
Hari ini Jumaat, hari sekolah.
Umie should be on her way to her school now, atau pun dah selamat sampai kalau adik-adik tak meragam sebelum ke sekolah.

Tapi kenapa seawal ini?

Along betulkan suara sebelum menjawab telefon.

"Kak long?"

Cemas.
Suara Umie cemas!

"Ye.. ye, mi! Nape mi?"

"Along kat mana? Kat ofis dah ke?"

Masih cemas.

"Belum mi, masuk kol 9 nanti, nape mi?"

"Erm..ni Umie kene isi borang bodoh ni!!"

"Borang pe?"

"Untuk clarify kelayakan pencen ape ntah. Kene isi part anak yang dah bekerja ni, Umie tatau ape exactly nama kerja Along tu..pastu kerani tak nyempat nyempat mintak..."

Butir selanjutnya Along kurang faham tetapi Along hembus nafas lega.
Dengan kuat.

Kuat sehingga Umie tanya; "Along kene asthma ke ni?"

Along ketawa tak ketawa sangat.
Menggelakkan diri sendiri dek kelakar seram yang Umie buat.

After helping Umie with what she wants to know, Umie perlahan-lahan cakap;

"Sorry ye Long, Umie kacau Along pagi-pagi ni.."


Tersentap hati.
SEBAK.



"Umie ni. Kacau mendenye."
"Along balik tak minggu ni?"
"Balik. Harini Along baliklah."
"Ok. See youuuu!"
"Haha, ok mi!"

Along senyum, senyum yang Umie takkan nampak.
Sedikit semangat.

Taken on Father's Day 09, where we watched the Night At The Museum 2!

I might not share the ultimate bond with Umie or Ayah now but I wish I could stop thinking for other people for once and just say whatever I want to say to them whenever I want to.

I might not know that Umie Ayah juga MUNGKIN terasa distant dengan ku just because they will think it's not cool for parents to bug their er almost grown up over sensitive over emotional daughter.

Hmm.

I don't know about you peeps, but deep down Along mahukan yang lebih baik antara Along dengan Umie and Ayah.
At least with Umie.

Ayah tuh, okay lagi.
Kalau hantar message random, dia akan reply lagi random ha ha.

"Yah, mengidam crabstick kat Dunkin Donut ah."
"Ek? Sekarang jugak Ayah gi beli makan lah."
"Sape yang mengidam ni?"
"Along. Tapi Ayah lapar gak."

T___________T


I never want to be in the situation where I regret for not being able to talk with them when they are not around nanti, nauzubillah.
Mungkin I need to find the right time kalau nak bercakap with them, and rather not wait until weekends.
Mungkin I have to stop worrying for them yang sememangnya ada kuota untuk merasa risau dan sedih bila anak-anak mereka yang semestinya akan ada masalah.

Kan?







Sekarang cakap dengan Along macam mana Along nak cakap dengan Umie yang Boss suh datang office this weekend sebab something urgent came up and need to be settled immediately before kene present depan client Isnin ni?

:(